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The idea of living in this much pain is so difficult and hard to handle. Other times, it seems like sweet relief.
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My skin has pigment problems, I always see it as some form of punishment. You won the lottery.
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Directors of companies can get away with things that any ordinary person would be jailed for. I was bed bound and the terror they can put inside you.
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It would be helpful for you to have somebody to talk to as well because it's so hard on you to have somebody you love struggling with suicidal thoughts. I always believed this as well until I entered a permanent fight-or-flight freeze state in early October
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People have told me how selfish I am for this. Maybe to friends or family or to a mental health professional?
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The only good news I had in years is that one of my classmate is depressed to and there is two more in this international christian school. You can find men looking for men in: Any gay pub, or bar, as well as during the specially organized events and parties that are regularly held there.
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If I find it, I will let you know. In God we trust PJ.
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